Farewell, 2025

Just, fuck it.  I have never wanted to see the end of a year so much. 

I know 31 December to 1 January is an arbitrary thing - and doesn't really mean anything... but... 

Keep in mind, that since at least July 2021 work has had at least one vacancy. In a team of 8, that's a lot. Especially when it's essentially a fulltime role (34 hours). 

And, that our building was undergoing remedial work from July 2022. It was supposed to take a few months. We closed to the public in October 2023, for six weeks. We, and the whole building, actually reopened in July 2024. 

So, with Covid hangover - that's heading to four years of abnormal stress at work. 

At the end of February, our boss - and one of my closest friends - was hospitalised with suspected pneumonia. 

It was stage 4 lung cancer. 

She came back to work, part-time, at the end of March - working towards her early medical retirement. 

So, I was acting manager - unexpectedly - and unprepared, for a few weeks. 

And, then my mother had a stroke at the beginning of April. 

Mum was in hospital for a month. Which, in many ways, was easier to deal with than having her at home. 

When she came home, we discovered she had hidden the extent of her disability. She had fallen the morning of her discharge and wasn't checked properly. They discharged her - based on her results the day before. 

On that day, Mum could walk 20 metres with a walker, and go up a couple of shallow steps - with help. 

On discharge - she couldn't get out of the car. She needed at least two people to help her with the toilet. 

Thank God we already had all the stuff at home. Thank God SibL had training in elder care. 

The rehab team visited almost every day. We had a carer help her with showering - it took two. 

She got better. She got devious. So sneaky, so we wouldn't notice. 

Then... the rehab stopped. Without actual follow-up. They recommended Mum continue her exercises at home. Which, she didn't. She was tired. It was hard. She couldn't crochet. She couldn't write. 

We had alarms - which she didn't use (at the beginning) and a monitor. 

May: boss retired. So, again, acting manager. 

June: SibL broke her arm. 

She told us later that she lay on the deck, thinking "Mum will die before this is healed." 

Which meant that there was no taking turns with 'Darth' - the monitor we used to keep an ear on Mum. And, as she deteriorated, she couldn't ring for help. So, you were listening for changes in the background noise. The scrambling that was her trying to find the alarm button - her nails on the sheets. 

I 'slept' with Darth under my ear. Then, went to work. Trying my best to cover three roles: my own, acting manager, and the vacancy. 

In August, Mum died. 

We had had conversations, so we knew what Mum wanted. Thank God for the ex-boss, who just transferred money into my account so I could pre-pay the funeral director. When Mum died, everything was covered. And that was one less stress. 

In September, I interviewed for the manager's role. I found out I didn't get it the Monday after Mum's memorial service on Saturday. Which I volunteered to lead. 

I am still gutted that I didn't get the recording of the service sorted properly. I have recorded myself reading it all, over the beautiful PowerPoint I created. But, my laptop screwed it up. I haven't got around to doing it again, again. 

In October, the new manager started. It's good. I can concentrate on my own role now. Eventually. I need to come of the fog, first. 

Our last vacancy has been filled, too! They start in January. 

In November, one of our team was diagnosed with breast cancer. Since the beginning of December, they have been recovering from a mastectomy - and facing at least 20 weeks of weekly chemo, then radiation. 

In May, we may be fully staffed. Maybe.