A couple of months ago - on Fair Go - a nine-year-old perfectly expressed how I feel about clothes and jewellery. Check out the video here.
Everything is pink and purple in girl-land - and hearts and ruffles.
Like young Shannon, I'm not a pink and purple and hearts and ruffles type of gal. I have no problem with those that are.
At least as a grown-up, I have more choice in clothes - black, really. Maybe some red or purple...
But jewellery... hmmmm... And decorations...
I don't do hearts. I don't do crosses. (I'm not a Christian, so why should I? Just like I don't do ankhs or hamsa. These are not my beliefs, but they are others. And I respect them, and show that by not wearing them as an accessory.)
And that is why I have spent four days dropping into a shop, trying to find jewellery I can cope with.
The xx-genes in human females does not automatically indicate a preference for pink / purple / hearts / frills / lace / ruffles.
The xy-genes in human males does not automatically indicate a preference for navy / grey / cards / sport / fishing / argyle patterned socks.
So, here I am, struggling to express individuality when forced into boxes.
And you wonder why I knit, and make my own jewellery.
Friday, 8 July 2011
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Public personas
What masks do you wear? Where, and with whom, are you truly yourself?
If that is while I'm alone, then the 'real' me seems to be in 'sleep' mode - in low-power mode, but capable of restarting when needed.
I'm not an extrovert (surprised? Probably not), but I can spend a whole day interacting with people - workmates and customers. So, when I get home, I need downtime. It's tiring wearing that public mask for hours on end.
What about online? Here - on my blog - I share a mix of professional and personal info. On facebook, it's more personal, and family-related, really. Twitter - again a mix - but there I'm more like a stalker, than a participant. On linkedin, strictly professional. At all times I'm aware that people I know from my different worlds are reading and, possibly, passing on my public thoughts. So, although I share stories from my personal life online, I am careful how and what it is. Because you never know what happens. What goes online, stays online.
At work I can be a bit manic, a bit of a flirt (depending on the audience and situation, of course) - a performer as needed. Watching the surprise on my sister's face one night when I slipped into work mode made me realise that most of my family don't know that person - that Annie. [We were at a fundraiser, and there to be customers, but our family were swamped, so I helped out].
So many people know that work-Annie. And/or the Storylines-Annie.
Within the family, through strength of numbers (and growing) I'm known mainly as Auntie Anne - or Auntie Annie.
It's rare to find someone who knows Anne. And I sometimes think she is vanishing. And I miss her. I don't really know her these days, if I ever did.
Then there's the online me - often masked as madhamster. Sometimes angry-mad. Sometimes crazy-mad. A bit forgetful. And mad-keen on family. Oh, and knitting.
All this made me think of Alice Cooper (lately I've been doing that a bit. Not sure why - it began before seeing him in Top Gear out-takes). In an interview I saw/read/heard years ago, he talked about his concerts. How he knew what he was doing. But when Alice came on stage - he had no idea. Another interview, he talked about his kids saying things like 'Dad. Dad. Alice is on tv.'
So, in his head, in his behaviour, and within his family, Alice is a very distinct separate persona. A mask - a performance - that he dons as needed.
So - where does this leave me? Trying to find myself within the masks and faces I wear for the sake of others.
Welcome. Welcome to my online mask - Ms Mad Hamster.
What mask are you wearing?
If that is while I'm alone, then the 'real' me seems to be in 'sleep' mode - in low-power mode, but capable of restarting when needed.
I'm not an extrovert (surprised? Probably not), but I can spend a whole day interacting with people - workmates and customers. So, when I get home, I need downtime. It's tiring wearing that public mask for hours on end.
What about online? Here - on my blog - I share a mix of professional and personal info. On facebook, it's more personal, and family-related, really. Twitter - again a mix - but there I'm more like a stalker, than a participant. On linkedin, strictly professional. At all times I'm aware that people I know from my different worlds are reading and, possibly, passing on my public thoughts. So, although I share stories from my personal life online, I am careful how and what it is. Because you never know what happens. What goes online, stays online.
At work I can be a bit manic, a bit of a flirt (depending on the audience and situation, of course) - a performer as needed. Watching the surprise on my sister's face one night when I slipped into work mode made me realise that most of my family don't know that person - that Annie. [We were at a fundraiser, and there to be customers, but our family were swamped, so I helped out].
So many people know that work-Annie. And/or the Storylines-Annie.
Within the family, through strength of numbers (and growing) I'm known mainly as Auntie Anne - or Auntie Annie.
It's rare to find someone who knows Anne. And I sometimes think she is vanishing. And I miss her. I don't really know her these days, if I ever did.
Then there's the online me - often masked as madhamster. Sometimes angry-mad. Sometimes crazy-mad. A bit forgetful. And mad-keen on family. Oh, and knitting.
All this made me think of Alice Cooper (lately I've been doing that a bit. Not sure why - it began before seeing him in Top Gear out-takes). In an interview I saw/read/heard years ago, he talked about his concerts. How he knew what he was doing. But when Alice came on stage - he had no idea. Another interview, he talked about his kids saying things like 'Dad. Dad. Alice is on tv.'
So, in his head, in his behaviour, and within his family, Alice is a very distinct separate persona. A mask - a performance - that he dons as needed.
So - where does this leave me? Trying to find myself within the masks and faces I wear for the sake of others.
Welcome. Welcome to my online mask - Ms Mad Hamster.
What mask are you wearing?
Sunday, 3 July 2011
Foibles of family trees
What is your definition of family? What does family mean to you?
A couple of years ago, I posted about a family tree online product we were asked to check out - and I asked some questions. These questions still linger. [Don't go looking for the tree - I've since removed it. See also my discussion about embedded families].
As a school project, I was sometimes asked to make up a family tree. They usually got a streamlined version. I just focused on the less-complicated immediate family bit.
But even then there were things left out.
And that's sad. There are people who have left holes in our hearts, who don't seem to 'fit' on traditional family trees.
You can add in a stillbirth, for example. But what about those babies that didn't make it full term? The ones that were named, and whose arrival was much anticipated. Or the miscarried / aborted ones who left holes and influenced people's lives - although their sex and names were never known. But, each year around what should/might have been their birthday, their mothers grieve and remember.
What about adoption? We're fortunate that our mother was so open, so we knew there was a half-brother out there - and his birthday - but until I was 15, we didn't know him. Another question: how does he and his children/grandchildren deal with their family tree? Do they just focus on the legal/adopted side and ignore the biological (well, what is known of it).
Then there's other people - those who have no biological link but who are so much a part of your family that there has to be something you can do to show that.
Some of you know about Monkey and her parents. How can I represent this gorgeous little girl I consider a niece? Oh yes, she is family. When her future arrival was announced my then 14-year-old niece said 'yay! I won't be the youngest any more'. She is our niece. Her dad is part of our family. He is an uncle. A brother. But in scientific fact? There is no connection. Emotionally, that is a different story. The reality. He's my ex. My dad was his best friend and mentor. He was the one who started us the journey to buy Mum and Dad's place up north - because he didn't want Grandad (my dad) left up there alone. At formal events (weddings, civil services) he and his partner and Monkey are in the family photos.
In a couple of generations - when we write up our family tree - their influence and entanglement within my family will not be represented.
I ask again - what is your definition of family? Who would be missing from a traditional family tree of your family?
A couple of years ago, I posted about a family tree online product we were asked to check out - and I asked some questions. These questions still linger. [Don't go looking for the tree - I've since removed it. See also my discussion about embedded families].
As a school project, I was sometimes asked to make up a family tree. They usually got a streamlined version. I just focused on the less-complicated immediate family bit.
But even then there were things left out.
And that's sad. There are people who have left holes in our hearts, who don't seem to 'fit' on traditional family trees.
You can add in a stillbirth, for example. But what about those babies that didn't make it full term? The ones that were named, and whose arrival was much anticipated. Or the miscarried / aborted ones who left holes and influenced people's lives - although their sex and names were never known. But, each year around what should/might have been their birthday, their mothers grieve and remember.
What about adoption? We're fortunate that our mother was so open, so we knew there was a half-brother out there - and his birthday - but until I was 15, we didn't know him. Another question: how does he and his children/grandchildren deal with their family tree? Do they just focus on the legal/adopted side and ignore the biological (well, what is known of it).
Then there's other people - those who have no biological link but who are so much a part of your family that there has to be something you can do to show that.
Some of you know about Monkey and her parents. How can I represent this gorgeous little girl I consider a niece? Oh yes, she is family. When her future arrival was announced my then 14-year-old niece said 'yay! I won't be the youngest any more'. She is our niece. Her dad is part of our family. He is an uncle. A brother. But in scientific fact? There is no connection. Emotionally, that is a different story. The reality. He's my ex. My dad was his best friend and mentor. He was the one who started us the journey to buy Mum and Dad's place up north - because he didn't want Grandad (my dad) left up there alone. At formal events (weddings, civil services) he and his partner and Monkey are in the family photos.
In a couple of generations - when we write up our family tree - their influence and entanglement within my family will not be represented.
I ask again - what is your definition of family? Who would be missing from a traditional family tree of your family?
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